I want new clothes.

so...I had a dream.

I was at Costco of all places, and they had a "hipster" clothing section if you will...as in solid colored v-neck shirts in about ten colors, corduroys that had some bit of a flare/bootcut to them, and long sleeve thermals with prison stripes on them, in about ten colors as well. Needless to say, I wanted all of them.

So, I'm shopping, going through sizes and climbing on shit to get stuff from the top (if you've been to Costco, you know what i'm talking about) and Drew Haddon walks up to me...we make small talk, and then this gentleman named "John-Henry", whom is actually friends with my friend Alex Allen, and not Drew, walks up with three friends, all wearing ski masks. I ask Drew what's going on, and he informs me that John-Henry's name right now is "Adam Brockman" and that he might go to jail for what he is about to do. whatever. I continue shopping.

I few moments later, I hear someone saying "no, don't use that ladder, that's for employees only, use this four foot ladder" followed by a chuckle...then, I look up and to my left where the delicatessen section is (it's about a hundred feet from me), but I can see it clearly, looks like some sort of bomb/explosion went off, the metal tables are all askew and upside down, and shit is burning. The best part of it, however, was that people were running over TOWARDS it, because I suppose the frozen meats and what have you were all COOKED now, thanks to the bomb/explosion. I laugh, say "go get it fatties" to myself, and continue shopping.

I realize that these pants may be sized weird, and a 32 may not fit me, so I do the "around-the-neck" test with the waist of the pants, and they seem that they may be a little tight. So i'm digging in the pile of cords for a 33, when I notice my co-worker Loren, nicknamed "Skud" (I still have yet to understand that) is digging in the other end of the pile of cords...I say "ohhhh my, we are going to be wearing the same pants....ohhhhhhhh my body", and then I notice the ski-masked friends and John-Henry/Adam Brockman being walked out the exit (to my left, also a hundred feet or more), and people are running around in a pandemonium-esque manner, although for some reason, it doesn't really phase me, other than making me chuckle a bit...I continue shopping, and move my purchases to the checkout(literally EVERYTHING from the aforementioned "hipster" section) and upon such, my total is $987.00.

SHIT.

I notice on the cashier's screen, that there is a little picture of every garment with the price below it, and i'm preparing to start pointing at things to remove from my purchase, when I look to my left out the exit, and notice that the handcuffed gentleman and Mr. Brockman are being put onto a giant beautiful tour bus. crazy.

and then I wake up.

I suppose it wouldn't be hipster clothing unless it cost SO MUCH MONEY for colored cotton.

retarded.

whut whut in the butt.

yeah.

so this hotel job really, really sucks.

I broke the room card maker today...and then I fixed it...but oops.

terminator 3 is on AMC tonight...and that, unfortunately, shall be the highlight of my day, aside from the joint i'm about to roll...whut whut.

I got more rhymes than the winans got family.

fuckin' right.

wonderful pizzaland sprinkled with drugs!

I love working at Johnny's Pizza.

I can do AND eat whatever I want.

whatEVER.

Tonight, I did this:

Got in to work, and immediately went outside to have a cigarette and small talk with my boss...we made fun of his stupid girlfriend who is "fat and stupid".

It's true. she sits around and plays playstation all day.

FAT and STUPID.

but not playstation, just her. playstation is awesome.

ANYWAY, f0llowing my post-clock-in party, I put "Live On Other Planets" by Supergrass in the big pimpin boombox (it's actually a small piece of shit that distorts more than booms)...I proceeded to wash a few dishes, and sing like a baby (not really...I just have a beautiful baby voice. oh, you know...) for roughly fifteen minutes, enjoying every minute of my life.

Then, I got tired of washing dishes, so I made a salad.

A DELICIOUS salad with tomatoes, mushrooms, cucumbers, onions, pepperoncini, salt, pepper, parmesan, mozzarella and ranch dressing.

I call it "suburban delight"...it's delicious (like I said).

THEN, I washed the occasional dish and sang (with my beautiful baby voice) for the rest of the night, whilst listening to Roxy Music's Self titled album, Elefant's "Sunlight Makes Me Paranoid" and finishing off with Iggy Pop's "Lust For Life". then I took out the empty beer kegs and garbage, to find the General Manager and Adam (The Dude) smokin a blunt by the garbage.

I love my job.

I finished off my shift with a two-beers-for-mopping-the-kitchen trade with the GM.

I clocked out at 9:20, with ten minutes to spare before my parents arrived...I chugged the rest of my second beer and smoked a cigarette, slumped over in an outside patio chair, enjoying being temporarily high/intoxicated.

Ah these moments of bliss that were so few and far between now come ever so frequently.

I love you Johnny's Pizza...touch my penis and let's be friends!

haha wheee!

So, now i'm high, but instead of watching Halloween, i'm posting a blog.

Why?

...because my father and stepmother are watching a "preview" video of the children's play they are about to videotape tomorrow...the play is called "on the radio", so the name leads me to believe that the theme song for the play would be Donna Summer's "On the Radio."

Terrible.

and now I am on the phone....

....I was on the phone with Sheena for two hours...I am happy...happy like...

...LIKE EROTIC ANGELS FUCKING THE STARS!!!!!!!!!!!

so now watch constantine? who knows.

Don't get me wrong...I do love "On the Radio", as well as Donna Summers for that matter..."I Feel Love" is a classic...it was one of the first songs to effectively using stereo panning on a record...

but anyhow, the problem lies with the children. I hate children's voices more than ANYTHING, so the idea of a large group of 2nd and 3rd grade BITCHES, SCREAMING THE WORDS to a Donna Summer song just REALLY hurts my feelings...I'm sure it's very close to the sound of HELL.

AND SPEAKING OF HELL, i've gotten COMPLETELY off the main topic at hand...I cannot watch HALLOWEEN because my father says he doesn't "watch those kinds of movies in his house" WhATT?

again, terrible.

He'd rather watch "The Hunt for Red October" are you KIDDING ME wtf.

...i'm going to smoke the rest of this doob.

yeah I fuckin' said doob.

i'll be back sometime.

until then.

later.

wheeee

today, i'm getting high and watching halloween.

the end.

last night's dream.

so.

are you excited???

hahaha.

SO myself and some of my friends, as well as other people I didn't know/care about were galavanting around this giant lake...it had many inlets and even sections that were completely seperated by land...

none of us had a boat, so when we found one...we'd take it. However, don't think large Yacht style boats...more like fishing boats or canoes, with 15 people crammed in it, all drunk and giggly.

So at some point in the dream, people start dying (of course...when there's too much fun going on, that means someone is about to die). It's some group of madmen that are trying to kill us, but they have the ability to breath under water (like harry potter), so if you get in the water, they pull you down, and then kill you...I was only slightly scared.

So we are running away, stolen boat after stolen boat, we'd run upon land, run across this heavily wooded section, and back into another pond/lake of some sort, steal a boat, and across the lake again, stop at some inter-lake boat house thing, run in circles around that for a bit, and each time some straggler gets caught and killed (the whole time, the only people dying are the people I don't know.care about, which is wonderful). Imagine guts, but instead of the agro crag, it's woods and lakes...however very obstacle course-esque..I believe I was giggling most of the time I was running...

The last piece of ground we run upon is some sort of village, although it looks like the renaissance festival, with large wooden panel fences, and the huts had beach towels draped EVERYWHERE...it was like driving by the windows of a "wings" (if you're from florida, or have been there, you know what i'm talking about..everyone else can suck it)...So I run through the huts, and pass this JACUZZI TUB full of old people on my left, and immediately in front of me is this carnival-esque wall, withs cages of King Crab (what?), spiders, and some other animal shit...anyhow, the bad guy chasing me had a chainsaw (just my luck), so I hide behind the spider cage (it had a cork wall backing...) and when he runs up to it, I push it over. He drops the chainsaw, and JUMPS from the spiders (as I would, except they were crawling towards him)...and I grab the chainsaw, and as I'm about to kill a bitch, I turn to see that one of the King Crab had grabbed him up into their cage (I don't know how this happened) and he's being STABBED TO DEATH by the crab legs...OH...

So a slight modification on the king crab...imagine a giant spider with king crab legs...ever seen a spider spin a cocoon around their prey? They get all their legs crumpled together, like if you touch all the fingers on one hand together (try it!!). so it was like that, and the legs squeezing around him, spinning him around and STABBING him every touch of a claw. It's hard to explain, but I assure you it was amazing...at the end, blood was pouring out of the cage (hee hee hee).

So I ran through the hut village, SLICIN and DICIN the bad guys, and a few of the people I didn't know/care about just for grins.

then I woke up.

TITTILATING.

I found this today.

and this.

I also came up with the next song for "erotic angelz"...it's called "INTERGALACTIC TAMPON" and is an ode to Donovan...it's Sheena star number.